Another Day in Paradise!

Here is a fantasy of mine. . . I finally figure it out. I spent most of Wednesday in turmoil and most of the evening apologizing.

First, my lack of bookkeeping skills (shared by a couple of others in the group) led to a rather significant misunderstanding of the financial realities of a little business I am working in.

That led to a heated conference call with several of key folks in the business, which led to a rather heated exchange between me and one of the key people in the deal. It felt to me like the point I was making was being dismissed without being at least examined, so I used a communication tool which I don't use often but that I had seen used in several situations with the group. I just "went off!"

To my chagrin, the next evening, I discovered that I had missed a very significant rule involved with using this "tool." You NEVER use it on a "family member." Sigh.

So after an hour of to'ing and fro'ing and several versions of apologies on my part, we finally reached a truce, at least.

I learned several important lessons, I think.

First, don't assume you understand the rules of the game or culture until you have played for a while.

Second, it is a given that you will break rules in the learning process. If you don't have the stomach for the occasional grovel session, don't get into the game.

Third, if you are operating in an unfamiliar "culture/game," it is possible you can screw up badly enough to permanently alter your relationships in the game. Then you have to decide if the payoff for playing still exists. Sometimes you are done and it is best to cut your losses and move on. But, most times, if you can get over yourself and the nearly universal addiction we all share to "being right," the goof and its disorienting condition it is temporary.

Finally, developing the stomach for these inevitable faux pas and goofs and general stupid mistakes is probably what separates the grownups from the kids. It is very easy to slip into a paroxysm self-pity and victimhood because you have been soooo misunderstood and your intentions were soooo pure.

But, in my experience, the reality is that you chose to get in the game or engage the new culture and if you goofed, you goofed.

Hurt feelings and embarrassment, even hurt and embarrassment on a galatic scale, won't kill you. In fact, that level of feeling, if you pay attention, can contain majorly useful information about what you need to do personally to get better at "playing the game."

Ok, enough pontification for today.

The shot below I took last weekend just south of Lincoln City. I can't wait to get a little beefier camera. This one is only 4 megapixels and it leaves a bit to be desired when you get into high contrast situations. But even with its limitations, I like this shot.